A Day In the Life

I read the news today oh, boy, and I'm back to work. Sorry I couldn't resist the Beatles reference. I am back to work however and have put two shifts in so far up at the course. I got a couple of interesting stories to tell. My first day back I had the pleasure of working with the Mac, where he informed me about getting my driver fixed by Joe Beatty, but more about that later. Well, first I went into the ball room to clean a whole shit-ton of balls that were just left in there baskets, and as I begin to run the ball washer, wouldn't you know it, the thing is jammed. As I reach into the the disgusting water to feel for the jammed ball to my surprise there is almost 100 balls sitting in the pools of nasty water. I alert the Mac who informs me that we have a new staffer in Silvio "benny" Benasuti. I assume that he created the debacle, but it was quickly fixed so no harm no foul. Next as I take my first Ranger trip of the year I run into none other than the BIG A-B. It was pretty early in the morning so it is hard to say how fast he was going, but thats neither here nor there. I was also enlisted on my first day to go around the whole course and pound all the OB and hazard stakes into the ground if they are loose. Kinger and I both discussed how terrible of a job this sounds on paper but in practice it is actually pretty cool. I got to go out on the course in 70 degree weather and bang stuff with a big hammer. Wait how could that even sound bad on paper I stand corrected, sometimes our job can be pretty sweet. My first day ended with picking the range. I have to say that I was downright giddy over this since we had the new picker and I was getting to experience it for the first time. This was quite a process. I will grow Kinger's analysis of the contraption a bit right now. As a whole the easiest part of picking the range is driving around and getting the balls and it only made that easier, but gather the baskets and driving them over to the conraption then loading them and unloading sucks something awful. I dont look forward to doing that again anytime soon especially since i dropped a basket on my toe which is now bruised and scraped my leg pretty badly. So not a great experience but I did spend my time out on the range texting max and listening to CCR on my Ipod. So that was my monday. Tuesday was much less exciting than my first day but here are some highlights.
1) Scott Mowrey is the man! This was my first time working with him and he is funny as hell and brings some life to the course.
2) Shelly WTF! That is as much as I will say but seriously there should be 1 criteria and 1 only for hiring the girls behind the bar.
3) I got my first call of what I am sure will be many from Straffin bitching about Slow play. He felt that a single playing at 11 a.m. should get to play through six foursomes on the front side. Good logic Straf! plus he didnt clean his cart.
4) Finally, the rumors have been confirmed Randy B does love Enrique. He went through his whole media player with me he is alos a big Creed, Hinder, and Firehouse?? Fan.
Well that was long and exhausting (thats why she said), but thats all for now. until next time HAck away boys.

My apologies

Disregard the end to my Perkins story, that was tasteless.

My Return

The rumors have been confirmed I will be returning this sunday. It is a special day for a couple of reasons. First our mentor and leader David Patrick Party Time Kinger King will be turning 24 years old (I look for some fun to take place when that happens), second and perhaps more important, I jest PT, I will be returning to TL and ready to work and golf and bullshit mainly the latter two though. I feel that I have been slacking on the blog considering I'm stuck done here in oakland, but I promise I'll be contributing some gems to the TLPOATOUR. Also, I called in the middle of the meeting yesterday I will be looking for the details of this from Kinger. I'm sure Max didnt get notified of this since he is just a lowly grunt worker. But until then I sign off and as always hack away.

Hot Breakfast

So i was driving into class about twenty minutes ago, minding my own business, chewing some smokeless tobacco, trying not to think about the pile of work i have due later tonight...And i come to an abrupt stop at the intersection of shaffer road and the bee-line, between eat n park, ruby tuesday and the BK lounge. In front of me was a grid lock of cars that seemed to begin right out in front of perkins, and end at the middle of the intersection i was at. Having been in the same situation before, i though it was just a bunch of dumbass dubois drivers going full retard and not knowing how to drive when traffic is heavy. Now this is where to story takes a turn for the worse, i had to put more chew in for this part...I took a right at the intersection i was at and turned up onto the road that goes in between the k-mart plaza and the commons. I then proceeded to take a quick left onto the road that goes right behind BK perkins and the complex where H&R block is...That was when i discovered that the gridlock wasnt because a few shit-headed drives. I looked to my left and saw perkins, maker of my personal favorite waffle and hashbrown combo, burning to the ground in a wall of hellfire and damnation. Black smoke was bellowing out of the place and there were some flames that looks like they were coming from the kitchen, which leads me to believe that somebody left some pancakes on too long or something...Where does this tie into our tlpoatour blog might you ask? Well, put it this way. If you see Perkins owner Doug Jaggi, or if you're playing a round with him, i would probably advise you not to use the compliment "you're on fire"

Washing Carts Today

Today, Randy and I washed all the carts at the Silver. Lemme start by saying that Randy is the man, then I'll proceed with ripping into Gephart who is not the man. I show up around 9:30 am to find Randy waiting. I was not scheduled to work today, but what else do I have to do with my days? It was too cold to play, so I might as well get paid for hanging around the course, right? The schedule said Randy, Gephart, and Romeo were to wash all the carts today. On with the story. Gephart shows up about an hour late while Randy and myself were elbow deep in soapy water. (Romeo never showed either, but nobody really expected him to be there anyway. That’s Romes for ya). Anyway, I spot Gephart driving his jeep to the dumpster and tossing into the dumpster a few black garbage bags. . . wtf? That’s what i thought. Whatever, at least he showed up to help us out, i thought. No no. Not to be outdone by Romeo, Gephart insists that he isn't on the schedule. "I can't help today, I have somebody coming over this afternoon." he says. My vision turns red and I'm reminded of all the times Gephart fucked drew in the ass with carts after an event; needless to say at this point I'm cold, soaked and furious. "If you can't help out, then we'll have to find somebody who can." I says to that s.o.b.. (btw, he shaved his mustache and it looks ridiculous. There was a reason he grew that thing in the first place, and it was a damn good reason, too. His upper lip is not one of good looks.) He decides it would be a good idea if he lent a hand for a few minutes, and I enjoyed spraying him with the hose now and again. Meanwhile, Scott is in the shop dealing with the newest employee of the 19th hole. Jen or Ashley or whatever the hell her name is. Shelly must be asking all the wrong questions during his interviews, cause so far he is 0 for 2. This newest one is a recovering alcoholic and is afraid that working around booze will cause her to relapse. You'll recognize her the instant you see her. She looks the part. The telephone conversation (in tears) between her and an unknown second party has been confirmed by a credible witness other than myself. You can hear everything from behind the counter. I'll conclude this post with a thought. Why does Shelly keep hiring weirdoes? Has working at the golf course made us weird, too? probably

First Day Back

Friday morning was my first day behind the counter this season. It felt great to be back. The sun was shinning, the greens were cut, the coffee was strong and the OTHG was extra ornery when I told them they couldn't go off #10 until doug and his boys were thru cutting. They had to wait 15 minutes but you would think it was an hour. Some of those guys are so use to people listening to them their entire lives that they are unable to handle simple requests of order and procedure. I honestly dislike the entire lot solely because of the way 1 or 2 of them act. Anyway, anyway. Shelley is interviewing new barkeeps. So far the ones I have seen are all misses. When asked "Shelley, what the hell are you doing to me? Hire some hot ones" his response was to the affirmative that he was indeed planning on employing some lookers and that most of Duffer's staff is on the up and up. But that doesn't help us out at the silver and the boys at the gold are too young to know how to use their stuff anyway. What else, what else? oh yeah! happy hour 5-7
On other grounds, someone fairly hot is recently devorced and the ex is a step-touching perv. juicy stuff here.
Randy Baird LOVES Enrique Iglesias. LOVES HIM! it has been confirmed by a credible source.

URGENT NEWS

I have some news that may be of particular interest to some or all of the authors of this blog. I am certainly excited about this update of equipment and plan on putting it to good use this Thursday, either before of after I beat about 1000 balls. The Treasure Lake Silver Course is now in possession of a brand-spanking new range-ball picker! believe it. It is so new, that nobody had even tested it out yet. TJ suggested that I be the first to use it, ON the clock of course.

Ronald McDonald

Did Sergio spill ketchup on his pretty white dress? If it wasn't for the beautiful daughter of the legendary Greg "The Shark" Norman on this hack's arm, I'd have worse things to say. I bet he is wearing Ronald McDonald shoes to match. lol I don't know which is worse, his outfit or his putting. Anyhow, down to the matter at hand. Her name is Morgan Leigh Norman. She is the 23 year old daughter of Greg Norman, and she appears to have IT in all the right places. This, boys and girls, is the new "sexiest woman in golf". it has been decided

Tour Dates in Tri-States

Did some homework and came up with a few tour stops close to home

June 4-7: Memorial in Dublin, Ohio........ 4.5 hour drive
June 18-21: US Open in Farmingdale, New York....... 4:13 to Wills mansion, ~2 hour train ride
July 2-5: AT&T National in Bethesda, Maryland........ 4:16 hour drive
Aug 6-9: WGC in Akron, Ohio....... 2.5 hour drive

*click on the links to view course webpage

Golf Trips

This forum gives us all a great opportunity to find some nice courses around the area, and the spread the joy that is us around. We need to plan some trips and get out there and slap it around. I'm already itching to plan a trip to Bethpage and maybe play a course or two on the way. Let me know what everyone thinks. Until then Hack Away.

a humble tribute

i know i speak not only for myself, but for several others when i say the man know as egghead will be greatly missed around the pro shop. his antics and mishaps will not soon be forgotten. we all remember the time he swatted a bee and broke the boss's office window. lol watta guy.
R I P egghead

shankapotomous

I think i speak for all of us when i say, this is the best and most productive thing any of us will do all summer, on or off the clock. With the return of PT for another summer full of shenanigans, i think it has energized that jack-off base that is myself, david, and drew. When the forecast is black up at work, which it frequently is, we always know who will lighten the mood. This golfing summer has great golfing potential to be the best golfing experience of our golfing lives. So lets get out and hit the golfing ball boys.

Welcome to TL

Since this is my first post I'll keep it short. But this blog is just another tribute to the genius that is David "Party Time" "Kinger" King. This blog will only help to promote to the greatness that this summer will be. Considering that PT will be staying here and reuniting one of the strongest foursomes in not only TL, but I would argue the World( PT, Drew, Maxxy, and myself) this should be a very interesting summer. Thats all for now Hack away boys.

#5 1/2: 600yd par 6

I've parred it, but this season I can taste a birdie. We need to get some tee blocks from the maintenance shed, paint them and set them up on the power line.

first post on new blog

alright guys. we talked about this today on the course. i was bored, surprise surprise, and decided to get a jump on what I hope becomes the most fun summer ever spent on the greens, fairways, tees, bunkers, pro shop, range, cart shed and wherever else fun is destined to happen. let this be an outlet designed to promote mental health. that is all. enjoy